Ride Home 5/15: A Day with a Kenyan Hunter in the Wilds

It's raining now, but it wasn't before. There was sun and a lazy, heavy haze that made me question if I would've been better off changing back into my bike clothes instead of riding home in soon-to-be-rumplier work clothes. I just *so* want to leave at the end of the day, anything that slows down that process seems unbearable, though with the increasing heat, it's going to become increasingly more likely that I'm going to have to start changing again because of, you know, sweat. And also dirtiness- since I can't quite seem to keep bike gunk off my clothes.
This is the corner of Idaho and Massachusetts. I've never seen anyone on this lawn. I wonder how much of the common fees are going to its upkeep.

It belongs to everyone. It belongs to no one. 

I feel much more in control of my commute when I'm on my bike than when I'm driving or taking public transportation. I feel like I'm in control, which is sort of weird, since I'm also immensely vulnerable.
I wonder what the people in the back of cabs think when they realize there's a bicyclist behind them who was just cut off by their driver. I think "back of heads are weird" because that's pretty much all I've got to go on when trying to assess them.
I don't pass a cyclist without checking to see if they have a button. Based on my observations, there's still a rather vast untapped market out there. Time to redouble my efforts. (What's double "sometimes mentioning that I have buttons available in a blog post"?) I prefer it when baseball players redouble because that means that they're having a good night. Bicyclists, in jousting helmets, might prefer to redoublet, especially if their first doublets rip.
There's a man who has a lawn care concern who arrives at his clients by means of bicycle and he carries his tools and equipment in a Burley Trailer and today I saw him on Q Street. This seems practical enough, in that he doesn't have to spend fuel money and search for limited parking space for a pickup truck or other kind of large vehicle that most (or some) landscapers might prefer. If I were to open a lawn care concern in which I arrived by bicycle, I think I'd call it Mow lawns, mo' problems because really I'd not be very interested in this is a profession and I feel that by advertising my disdain for it, I could hasten the demise of my business and maybe move on to other things.
14th and Q.

You can't see the "t." It's actually a Weight Watchers advert. Crass commercialism at its worst.
So, there's this ice cream man and he sells ice cream by the skate park on 11th and today he was blasting his ice cream man tunes and it sounded like something you'd hear in the background of a Nintendo game from 1988 and I thought that that was all well and good if he wanted 30 year olds to roll up on his truck for a ChocoTaco, but kids these days play really sophisticated video games and there's no way that some MIDI Mario nonsense is going to sound in any way inducing. In short, I suggest better tunes for a younger demographic. And/or don't worry about it because you're selling ice cream and kids'll probably be ok with that irrespective of your truck's music.
I can't say that I try to ride into tourists' pictures on purpose, but in not saying that, I'm not telling you the truth. Yes, I do it on purpose. It's hilarious. And with digital cameras, it basically costs them nothing, so I don't really feel bad about it.
I rode behind a couple, but one half of the couple rode well in front of the other half and the half that I rode behind was a woman who had a kid trailer. I've seen her before. She drags the kid, he rides the Xtracycle in front. I really wonder about their dynamic.
Went to the store. Easy in and easy out, though a little bit of a delay in self-checkout. One guy bought a lot of meat. Like, maybe too much. I worried that it would tip over his car, like Fred Flintstone. Yabba dabba do be careful.
Maybe some Bikeshare commutes tomorrow. We'll see.

Ride In 5/15: Cacti and Bolos

First you look outside and then you put put your jacket on and then you go outside and then you take your jacket off and then you take your helmet off and then you take you hat off, put your helmet back on and put your jacket and hat in your bag and then you can finally start riding because you're done overestimating the need for a jacket and a hat, both of which would have been useful had the rain kept up but it hadn't and instead was supplanted by a balmy dankness and your outerwear was no longer useful for keeping exterior moisture out but instead would have been interior moisture in and that would be unpleasant, so you do the hokey pokey of jacket and hat and whether that's what it's all about is entirely dependent on your worldview. Muggy post-rain is the worst sort of weather.
I didn't do BikeDC, but some people did:

• Porta-John

• Bicycle Bug

• Rootchopper

• BloomingCyclist

• Mark Blacknell of WABA 

And probably a bunch of other people with blogs, but that's all I can remember right now. I did BikeDC last year and sat this year out. I think I prefer my rides to be solitary. And how do I prefer my solitaire? With 20,000 other people and a series of treacherous traffic hiccups.
The paths by the Capitol were closed. There were police everywhere. I asked one "can I ride down there?" pointing to the driveway next to the path where I normally ride and he said "No, sir. It's closed." Finally, a recognition of my knighthood. Thanks for being really polite, Sir Offiicer! I knew that eschewing my bike helmet for one of those jousting kinds would work out in my favor eventually. The detour put me on Constitution, which was trafficky, but I moved into the cycle track at the bottom of the hill and went on my merry way from there. You couldn't really see the merriment under the jousting helmet.
Pretty quiet downtown. Some bike commuters, but not too many. Saw Jon. I think he was very early and I was only a little early. Neither of us was Quinn Early.
It sometimes happens that when I ride my bicycle I notice that there is another bicyclist in front of me (only when I lift my jousting helmet's visor, that is) and sometimes I observe the bicycle and the attire of this person and I notice that he is wearing a rain outfit with a jacket and rain pants and has two waterproof pannier and he even has rainproof booties over his shoes and also that his bike has no fenders. Why no fenders? WHY? WHYYYYY? This was a standard hybrid commuter bike. You know who suffers when you don't have fenders on your bike? You. But also me if I'm behind you. So if you aren't selfish enough to think about yourself, but selfless enough to think about me.
Almost biked into a turning SUV at Mass and 15th. He missed the red and I anticipated the green. For the driver, it would have been an "accident' and for me it would be countless comments about all bikers are Lance Armstrong wannabes who don't follow traffic laws and nearly hit someone every time they ride on a mixed-used path. It's best not to dwell on these things.
Some people in DC overreact to the rain:

This flotation device can be used as a flotation device. 

Man [, he went] overboard.
Maybe there should be some bike infrastructure on Connecticut Avenue. See plenty of bicyclists there.
There's only one reason why a horn blare should last more than one second and it's because the driver is having some kind of medical emergency and is in desperate need of assistance or has slumped over onto the horn and is depressing it with the weight of unconscious body. Remember that time that really leaning into your horn actually made something happen? Me neither. It's immature.
I did some one legged pedaling up my slog up Mass, just like Bicycling told me. 10 strokes with each leg. I believe I have now developed "efficiency" and will never do anything this asinine ever again.
Bike racks are empty but it could be just because it's summer. Seems like there are fewer cars, too. One bike has been at the rack for the whole year and has never been moved. Sad.

Ride Home 5/14: I have a clam stockbroker and all he does is buy valves

TFTS first: typing this post on my phone. Sure wish I had a smart phone. Just using the numbers to make tones and a guy with really good hearing is making the transcription on the other end. It's very elaborate. Excuse the typos.
The rain remained. A bit fiercer than this morning, but nothing too bothersome. I think I prefer heavier rain to lighter rain (and chubby rain to both) because at least if I'm going to get wet riding, I'd like to get it over with. Same type of personality trait that compels me to put my shoes on both feet at the same time. I mostly wear slippers.
When did umbrellas become 4 feet deep? Can stick your whole torso inside. Good thing they're transparent. Also, was previously umbrella deficiency a problem if engineering or imagination? It's an exciting time for umbrellas. The future of umbrellas is now!
The one thing that I tend to discount when I push myself off before the green light arrives (not a veiled Gatsby reference. A Vailed reference is a suggestion to go skiing) is that the driver behind me will do the same and then quickly try to change lanes, bringing the front of his car rather closer to me than I would've otherwise preferred. I'd hate to get clipped.
I ended up on the sidewalk for an extended period of time. Too many cuts in the curb. Pedestrians are even second-class citizens on their own turf. If a driver wants to block the path with his car, he will and there's not much you can do about it- other than walk in front or walk behind or leap over the car if you have incredible leaping abilities. Or a portable trampoline. But the super power of tremendous leaping would be much cooler. If I had to say that I have an uncanny ability, it'd be that I'm really adept at spotting Russians. This doesn't quite qualify me to be an Avenger- maybe during the Cold War I could've been of service to Queen and country. Assuming Freddie Mercury needed to spot Russians.
Jaywheeled across 14th at Q. A rarity for me. That's a long way across. Probably not a great idea.
There should be greater priority for the movement of buses. In terms if sheer practicality, this seems to make sense. But "people" (and I don't know what I mean by that) hate buses. They are the Rodney Dangerfield of urban transportation. Pedicabs are the Bob Saget.
Who are you, beard guy? Your beard is excellent. We're, literally, passing acquaintances, in that we pass each other in nearly every bike commute, morning and night. Also, sorry if your righteous beard is some kind if adverse medical condition and my pointing it out is insensitive.
The average American, when walking near the Capitol, needs 18 feet of personal space. Sometimes I think that westward expansion was just the accidental result of incipient 19th century tourism.
Ambulance with a siren that syncopated. Sounded like a three year old with a penny whistle. This was by Lincoln Park. Either the siren was broken, the driver was kooky or they've lowered the age limits for EMTs.
Dominos delivers pizza by bike. Wish that I had taken a picture. I mean, it's still Dominos, so let's not all rush out and order any, but if you happen to be forced/tricked into getting some, maybe you can request bike delivery. For, like, bike solidarity or whatever.

Ride In 5/14: Abigail Adams, part II

Don't try to fix your bike on Monday morning before work. And don't leave things like swapping out brake pads until its too late and it's raining and you're questioning your ability to stop if you don't put in new ones. In short, it's sort of a frustrating to be held hostage because you've disabled your brakes and need to fix them prior to leaving. It's doubly frustrating when your have the dexterity of a drunken lobster, especially insofar as replacing the pads requires the slotting of a metal pin through a tiny hole. I managed to "fix" the brakes without cursing and without cutting myself (how this happens, I don't know, but I can't even do routine bike maintenance without bleeding) and the whole operation from start to finish only delayed my leaving by about 10 minutes. And it actually worked and I appreciated my newly refound ability to stop my bicycle in a reasonable distance. So, huzzah. I only swapped out the bad pads. I might need to do the front ones. Or I might need to sell this bike and get one with disc brakes. Or I might need to give up biking entirely and start riding a donkey to work. "Ass on an ass" would be what they would say. Also, I'd change the name of the blog to Life in the Ass Lane which might lead to its being found by some really disappointed perverts. But hits are hits and butt hits are hits too...
It rained, like I said. It was as bad out as it looked, no more and no less. I wore a jacket and this superbiker in front of me wore a see-through poncho (or maybe it was saran wrap) and he had his socks pulled up high over his lower calves. He yelled at a driver for cutting him off and blocking the bike lane and at the time I didn't think it was justified (the yelling), but I must be feeling less generous about it now because, like, screw you, buddy. Either pay bike taxes or get out of the lanes.
Thanks to Marc for sharing this. If you live in an urban area, don't do any of these things. Ever. There are simply too much other people around for you to engage in such self-centered nonsense. My suggestion is that if you want to work out on a bicycle, buy a 40 pound Dutch Bike For the Rest of Us, load it up with groceries, attach a kid trailer to it (kid optional. don't kidnap one if not readily available) and then bike it around town every day and up a bunch of hills when the situation calls for it. Just a suggestion. Bicycling Magazine is the anti-TFTS.
My desire not to shoal found me stopped behind a bicyclist who planned to turn and I just stood at waited 5 seconds after the light turned green. Duped.
Cops pulling over tour buses. Tour buses said "Haymarket." Anti-labor? Other cops playing bag pipes. It's National Police Week. And in case you didn't know, friend of the blog and soon-to-be karaoke partner of the blog, Kate, recently finish the Police Unity Tour. That's a really great accomplishment, so many, many props in her general direction!
My general direction took me up 11th and I did the thing where I squeezed between an idling bus and a parked car and I almost couldn't get through because there was barely enough room. Then I did that other thing where I observed all of the bicyclists heading in the other direction. More than I would've expected. Probably low for Bike to Work Week. Thanks to some over-strenuous gardening yesterday, I participated in bike to work weak.
Almost no one on the crosstown. One person on Mass. I rode behind her for a while and then I don't know where she went but she ended up at a bike racks next to me at work and said something about it being "fun" riding in the rain to which I responded that it "always is" making me sort of sound like an ass because it insinuates that I'm some dope who rides in the rain all the time, which while true, isn't something I'd really want to insinuate to a stranger.

Ride Home 5/11: "Blight Club" starring Doug and Lydia

I can't say that bike commuting is objectively the best kind of commuting, but I'm willing to go out on a limb (literally. I'm blogging from a redwood. Send for help) and write that it's subjectively the best of kind of commuting. I know that I'm totally within the "bike bubble" and in many cases, completely delusional, but I honestly don't know why more people don't do it. I mean, honestly, I do know, because I spend a lot of time reading about this and thinking about it and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on the variety of factors that inhibit people from bike commuting, but I think what I'm trying to say (and failing) is that the joys of commuting by bike vastly outweigh their setbacks and if given the opportunity to try to commute by bike, I'd recommend that you stick with it for a little while and see if for you, it's likewise, the subjectively best kind of commuting. It takes a little while. The first couple of times you ride in might be dicey. You also might not feel so hot, either,  because biking is kind of like exercise and if you're not used to it, it could be taxing. But, and this is my bet, if you do it consistently enough, you'll fall in love with it. So, here's my offer: you want to bike commute and you don't or haven't and you live generally in or around DC, let me know and I'll ride with you and we'll see how it goes. I'm serious. [Maybe it's just all the excitement about BikeFest getting me, but as of now, yes, I'm serious. I'll meet you at your house or office and we'll do it.]
"Penny wise, pound foolish" is how I'd describe a lot of bicyclists and drivers, but it's more like penny foolish, pound foolish because, really, the way people think that they're going to beat the system through calculation and bravo and lawbreaking results in very little gain and, presumably, much frustration. I think I noticed it even more tonight since I was on a slower bike, and accordingly, biked slower. The weaving, the honking, the running lights, the searching for any kind of "advantage" vis-a-vis those around you- it's crazy. Your commute is only as stressful as you let it be. Life is about managing (your own) expectations. Life, the board game, is about I'm not totally sure what because I don't think I've played it for 20 years and even then my grasp on its subtleties was pretty tenuous. Life, the cereal, is relatively delicious. Life, the tv show, was short-lived and I never watched it.
"Read Dianetics. Ask Me" is not something that I'd want on a t-shirt. "Smith and Wesson" is not something I'd want on my bike frame . But the first guy was apparently a Scientologist and the second guy was definitely a bike police officer and both had chosen their personal brand and I didn't have much choice but to notice it. Perhaps they could collaborate on a "Read Dianetics or I'll shoot you" campaign, but thank goodness for the establishment clause or whatever. Establishment Claus is the guy who would bring presents at Christmas, but for fact that it's not allowed by the Constitution. Establishment claws would be what would happen if the framers were tigers.
Some people say that you should ride your bike as if you're driving a car but I think that you should ride your bike as if you're riding a bike. Bikes and cars are different.
This thing by the Capitol. I took a picture.

It's a sign that looks like a person

The sad part is that they've unionized and now it costs the government $25/hr.
In front (and by that, on mean on the east side) of the Capitol, there was a photoshoot for a woman wearing a sash that read District of Columbia. I don't know if she was Miss DC or Mrs. DC or Mr who looks like a Mrs. DC or Ms. [ethnic/religious/nationality group] DC, but I do know that I might be a blurry image in the back of her glamour shots, so I'm really sorry about that. Also, from the perspective of civic pride, I'm not totally sure that the Capitol, the symbol of our congressional overlords with whom we have no voting representation, is a proper one. I'll let you suggest the proper backdrop for the "nationalist" District of Columbia photoshoot.
Stopped along East Capitol to talk to Dave, who was out walking his dog. I love my neighborhood so freaking much. It's like a village. And much of its kisfalusiság (this is a made-up Hungarian word that connotes "small villagey-ness") is something I get to experience because I ride a bike and it's pretty easy to stop and talk to someone who want to stop and talk with.
On Massachusetts, I rode on the wrong side of the street to let a moving van pass me. I was turning left anyway, so it wasn't that big of a deal. It is, however, just a reminder of the order of things, in that I feel that it's my best interest to ride illegally and improperly just to let a driver drive without having to slow a little to accommodate me on my bike. Not a big deal, I guess. Live and let live, though it's more him that's letting me doing the living and not the other way around.
Haven't figured out how I'm getting to BikeFest tonight. I don't know whether I'm driving the Escalade or the Suburban. Either way, there better be free parking.

Ride In 5/11: South African Ballerinas Wear Desmond Tutus

"Inspirational quote taken out of context"- Famous Person

Who else had a hard time sleeping last night on BikeFest eve? Anybody? I expect tonight to be one of the bikier and festier events of the year. As for me, apparently last night I engaged in some "crazy talking" while asleep, mentioning Romo Lampkin, "Broke" Biden and lawn chairs in the front seat of the car. The Official Wife puts up with a lot.
I decided that I would take the Haul into work today, mostly because it's a nice day and I felt like mixing it up. Also, I really do want to get around to swapping out the pads on my regular bike and not riding it until I do so. I don't normally take this bike to work because it's heavy. Like easily on the other side of 40 pounds. So, it was a bit of struggle this morning, even on the flat and easy parts. I am a weakling.
Crew + Extra Parking? Crew + Extra Parking.

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This eyesore has been there for a couple of weeks. Can't have enough bollards to separate the bike lanes because they'd ruin the view, but neon yellow signs are just fine. Where are the forces of overbearing aesthetic purity when you need them? (If you said France, you're probably right)
I'd rather ride the wrong way through a securitized parking lot than bike on the sidewalk through a tour group. #bikeDCproblems
Do they just give out Maryland drivers licenses to anybody or you have to affirmatively demonstrate that you're terrible at operating a car? "I'm sorry, sir. You signaled before turning. You'll need to retake the exam." It'd be funny if it weren't so terrifying.
A great #fridaycoffeeclub as usual. Even sold a button. I don't know if we're doing one next week on account of Bike to Work Day. I also don't know if that counts as irony. Also, I haven't yet signed up for Bike to Work Day. I also don't know if that counts as irony. [Ok, I stopped blogging and signed up. I'll be at the Reagan building pit stop downtown]
From coffee, it was the usual route up 15th. Fairly quiet, though there will quite a few cyclists heading downtown still. None, I don't know, on CaBis, which I think is a function of a lack of balance in the system. At the more popular stations in Adams Morgan/Columbia Heights, my suspicion is that the docks empty pretty early and if you don't get one at that time, you're probably not getting one. I wonder how many more people would bike in were there more bikes readily available. Conversely, I wonder how many people have switched to using their own bikes ("graduated," so to speak) due to limited reliability of Bikeshare.
I complain about the slog up Mass pretty much every day to pretty much anyone who will listen. I accost people on the street. It's awkward. Anyway, today was especially sloggy and slow. But, nature!

Where's Waldo? (Waldo is the name at the deer)

This picture belies how close the deer actually was. It was close. He probably lives in Rock Creek Park, which makes him a rather snooty deer. Doe's got dough. And yes, I did reassign the gender of the deer from male to female. But just by changing the pronoun- not with surgery or hormones or anything.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the ride home. I'll see some of you later. Peace out, homeskillets.

Ride Home 5/10: Saccharine Trees and Aspartame Skies

No, it's still not Friday. The plus side of that is #fridaycoffeeclub tomorrow. And two more TFTSs, so those are both unalloyed goods (like iron?) and something to looked forward. So, huzzah for for all that. So, let's talk Thursday or more specifically this Thursday. Um, it was cool. I left work around 5:20 and got home a little after 6. In that time, I rode my bike and I made a new friend. I don't know his name (he was a youngish guy on holiday) but we biked together from 15th and Penn to near Union Station. He was from Mumbai and took out a Bike & Roll bike to tour our fair city District. He asked me for directions back to Union Station and initially I gave him some terrible directions that involved his taking E Street. I live here and I bike here every day and I still can't give good bike directions. I suggested that he follow me and we biked and chatted (he's staying in Richmond, in DC for a couple of days, touring the Capitol tomorrow, and visiting New York next week) along the cycle track. He talked about how great it was to cycle in DC. Note to self: don't bike in Mumbai. I apologize to the other bicyclists in the cycle track because I couldn't quite figure out if I should bike in front of him or next to him and I was sort of all over the place. Anyway, I took him over to Louisiana and pointed out Union Station (he initially thought that the Botanical Garden was Union Station) and he thanked me and was on his way. I regret not giving him my button (or shaking his hand and actually introducing myself and learning his name) because India has a billion people and I'm sure TFTS would go over really big there. Self-promotion fail.
What happened before that was my riding down Mass behind a guy on a Surly Long Haul Trucker and then my losing him and seeing him again at the bottom of the hill after forgetting about him and then deciding that I would continue to follow him through Dupont Circle instead of taking Q. He dodged and weaved through stopped cars and I stopped behind them, turned to stone by the sight of a police cruiser (if I get a rap sheet, I'll never be able to serve on the DCBAC. Oh yeah, still haven't heard back about that. Need to follow up), but I eventually made it through some green lights and out the other side of the traffic circle and down Massachusetts, which should, frankly, only be advertised as a one lane road since parked cars and turning cars and delivery vans render it as much anyway. Life is about managing expectations. Before 15th, I saw LHT guy again, but he kept going and I decided to turn on to the cycle track and take that for a few blocks.
I have a suggestion for one bit of traffic enforcement that will manage to close the entire DC budget gap: ticket drivers who block the box and Vermont and I. You will make all the money. Also, you will reduce the terrific indignity that pedestrians and bicyclists are forced to suffer as they pick their way through the three foot gaps between bumpers. For shame.
I don't know what's worse: when someone accidentally runs in the bike lane or when someone accidentally talks on the phone while driving. I mean, people wouldn't do those things on purpose, right?
Many bicyclists along East Capitol. I rode behind a woman who spent every few pedal strokes adjusting her right pant cuff. I wonder what the trouble was. It seemed to really bother her. My right cuff was rolled. I wasn't wearing socks. Five bicyclists converged around Lincoln Park, each of us making some kind of illegal turn. Whoops.
I'm about to take a CaBi to a work event. So, there's more bicycling in my immediate future and I'm pretty happy about that. It's a gorgeous night. Here's to more spring.

Ride In 5/10: M. Night Shyamalan's Oliver Twist

A bit windy. Cool. Many people on bikes today. If we can get some consistently nice weather, I think that we'll finally be able to draw out the remainder of the fair weather bike commuting set and then they'll stay out until September assuming it doesn't get too hot or rain. I'm not totally convinced that the currently existing DC bike infrastructure is enough to accommodate "peak bike" (or whatever is analogous to this), not if bike infrastructure is ever built in a way that's forward-looking, like when they overbuild a highway anticipating the induced demand. My suspicion is that this isn't the case.
The Pennsylvania Avenue bike lanes is the best thing that's ever happened to pedestrians on Pennsylvania Avenue, which is six lanes wide. It provides a refuge. Sure, it's annoying for bicyclists, but in the aggregate, I'm much less worried about a person facing harm or grievous injury from being struck by a bicyclist than I would their being struck by a car. I try to have patience with people who've jaywalked their way into the middle of the lane, but I admit that this would be easier if they didn't scowl at me. Dude, it's a bike lane! It's like if I showed uninvited up at your house at dinnertime, gave one look at the tacos you're serving and then dumped them in the trash. That's just not cool. In reality, were I to crash "taco night," I'd be very grateful. This why I always carry a mocajete in my pannier.
The cycle track is only wide enough for two cyclists, either one heading in each direction or one passing the other. Trying to squeeze past me on the left while someone approaches from the other direction is not a sign of good judgment. Doing so at your 'max' speed and then totally crapping out as you get closer to the intersection of 15th and New York at the top of the moderate incline also indicates that doing so was perhaps not in your best interest. I'm pretty sure there's a part in Ecclesiastes that references a "time to pedal hard, and a time to take it easy because you're in a crowded cycle track and, furthermore, exorbitant physical exertion in the name of making marginal gains in a fictitious race is wholly unnecessary." I think that's in the King James version. Or the Lord Jim version.
I still try to bring coffee with me on every ride. It's very nice to sip coffee at stop lights. Finding the handlebar mounted samovar was a bit of a hassle. I think I'd like to do an entire tea service while biking, but I'll need to hire a team of butlers to escort me. It could get expensive. Steep prices. (That's a tea pun. I apologize.)
Grey suit guy. Passes on the right. Makes a left turn from a right-hand bike lane. Clothes makes the man, but clothes don't make the man a more conscientious city cyclist. WABA classes might.
Looks, it's a Biden motorcade. Or a Bidencade, as the kids call it these days.

One of these days, he'll express his support of bike commuting and it'll be a big fucking deal.
About half way up Massachusetts, I looked over and saw another bicyclist. He was plodding his way up the hill, riding in the street and I was parallel him, plodding my way up the hill on the sidewalk. I felt bad about this, mostly because I worried that my choice is not riding in the road somehow made his choice of doing it seem wrong or invalidating. I could imagine some jerk driver thinking "that guy [me] has no problem riding on the sidewalk, why can't you?!" I don't know whether these kinds of thoughts are rational. At the next intersection, I left the sidewalk and rode behind him, on the street. I have no idea what he idea he had about what I was doing. I hope he didn't think I was trying to wheelsuck or Cat6 him. Not my intention at all. Solidarity.
I darted across the crosswalk at Ward Circle and this apparently made a man in a minivan very upset with me. He had to stop his car. I suppose I could've waited for the drivers to pass and there would have been more time for get to get across the street, but I felt bold and relatively comfortable that the sign reminding drivers of their obligations to yield to pedestrians would in fact fulfill its purpose and abet my safe crossing, which it did. Nonetheless, this angry man in the minivan proceeded to remove his left hand from the steering wheel, twist his body towards his passenger window and angrily wag a finger in my general direction, while muttering invective I couldn't hear. I doubt what he was saying was complementary. I smiled and said something back like "It's not me" or something vaguely incoherent in and of itself but connoting the idea that drivers are faced with the responsibility of yielding and not the other way around. This man seemed angry. I tweeted about it when I got to work a little later. I'm a reasonably content person and I want other people to be happy, in a reasonably selfless kind of way. And I'm just not convinced that having to drive a car makes people happy. It's expensive, stressful and alienating. Sure, sometimes it might be necessary, but so is going to the dentist and that's not something I'd want to do each day. (Bike lanes are like fluoridation...?) Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong in saying that I'd prefer a city where people didn't feel like to had to drive so much and a society in which drivers respect and have more understanding for those who don't. I don't know how to get there, but it's worth considering.

Ride Home 5/9: A twizzler as a swizzle stick

There's a moment when your worn down brake pads go from "haha, it sure is taking me a long time to stop and it's making a funny squeaky noise" to "OH MY GOD WHY AM I NOT STOPPING?" I'm not quite at that second moment yet, but I'm getting closer. Time to replace the pads. Don't know why they wear down so quickly.
Riding down Mass, Adam shouted out "Brian!" and I yelled back, across four lanes of car traffic, "Hey, what's going on?" or something to that affect. At least I think it was Adam. And then, when I saw him ride past on Q street when I was stopped, I shouted back "Adam!" and he rung his bell a couple of times and maybe that was for me or maybe that was because someone was walking in his path.
I deliver buttons. I make housecalls. I am very obliging, but it wasn't hard to be obliging tonight since the button I delivered was delivered to someone along my bike route. Thanks, Kyle! We chatted outside for a while about varied #bikenerd topics, like bikes and bike lanes and streetcars and smartgrowth and baseball (ok, that's not exclusively #bikenerd, but whatever) and advocacy and all that and it was a great time. During the chat, I saw Ross ride by and shouted at him. (Tonight had a lot of shouting, apparently). I only shouted "hey" or "hello" not anything weird like "Imma get you!" because that'd be hostile and weird. Ross and I used to ride together when I rode my bike on weekends. My goal is to know everyone who bikes in DC and shout at them, but in, like, a nice way. And give them a button. For money. For WABA.
We chatted for a long time, or at least long enough for it to start raining, and I got to ride home in the rain. It was a cold rain. And, apparently, it made people crazy. Drivers honked. Pedestrians ran for cover. The springs on pogo sticks rusted and snapped and everyone applauded. It got appropriately crazy on 11th and there was honking and weaving and more honking and more me ignoring the honking and there were pedicabs and bicyclists in rain gear and taxicabs and all sorts of other nonsense from drivers that I fully didn't understand because they, in their cars, had roofs over them and the rain did nothing more than dapple their windshields and cause about three quarters of them to have to turn on their lights.
Tour buses. Hilarious.

Were I able to take this picture in time, you'd see a bus emblazoned with "The Free Enterprise System." Love it. I know when I travel, I like to take buses that have mixed economy class, but I'm a crazy Marxist. FUN FACT: I'm not really a Marxist, though I do commute by bicycle.
What remained of the bike traffic in the rain tended the taper as did the rain and it was relatively lonely going up past the Capitol except for the other bicyclists I saw struggling against the wind and the last few droplets and no one looked especially happy and the man hidden behind the umbrella who almost walked into me looked- well, I'm not sure how he looked or if he even looked because he was behind an umbrella. Perhaps he had no face. Who knows.
Here's a thing that happens when you're on a bike. People talk to you. Crazy people. At the intersection of East Capitol and 8th, a woman shouted to me from the bus stop. She sounded like Snoop from The Wire.
"Yo, take me to DC General"
That's a hospital, not a highly ranked military official.
I said "What?" and she repeated herself. Then I said "Naw, that's not going to work." Because that' how I respond to crazy people. She didn't looked injured. Perhaps I should've suggested an ambulance. But instead, being sporting, I just pointed out that my bicycle would be unable to carry her to the hospital. She pointed to my rear rack. I was all like "No, that can't carry anything." Because, again, the reason I was unable to bike her to the hospital wasn't because she was a crazy lady accosting me from a bus stop but instead because of the load limitations of my rear rack. This is apparently how I respond to things- with technicalities. On Ellie the Poodle's first night, I took her outside at 3AM and some crazy high homeless guys (this was in Denver and we lived a block off Colfax and Colfax is the street of crazy and high and indigent in Denver) suggested that I sell Ellie to them. My response: "Nah, we just got her." Anyway, the light turned green and I biked away and then I was home and I'll do the whole thing again tomorrow because it's simply the best way of getting anywhere and I couldn't be happier about it.

Ride In 5/9: Legalize pot pies

It was Bike to School day, or as they call it in the Netherlands, school day, and it was a time of great celebration for children and those encumbered with children. There was a gathering of would-be-biking-to-school children at Lincoln Park, which is near my house and I stopped by on the way to work. Here's what it looked like:

It was a good turnout and I saw some familiar faces and missed other familiar faces and missed at least one unfamiliar face. The kids seemed to be having fun and I regret that this is the case. Don't they know that bike commuting is serious and DANGEROUS and fraught and EPIC and in no way meant to be amusing? Apparently not. The organizers were handing out medals to participating children. I did not get a medal.
After the fun and festivities of Bike to School day, I proceeded to bike to school, medalless (do I sound bitter?) and that was terribly uneventful. There might have been a guy who was trying to race me. Not only do I have nothing to prove, I bristle at the implication. That's a snooty way of saying that he rode faster than I did.
A now-rare excursion up 15th. I rode behind a woman who was on a CaBi. She wore a shirt that said "Citi Volunteer." Perhaps CitiGroup has sent down dumb New Yorkers to figure out how Bikeshare works.
I could look at people all day long. They're fascinating.
A man pulled his Volvo into the cycle track before 15th and Massachusetts, blocking it. He exited the car and went around to the other side and escorted a woman out through the passenger-side door. I'm not sure if she was infirm and that was the reason for his parking faux pas. Not wanting to make a big deal of it, I just rode around. In his trunk was a folding bike. Curious.
My wrists hurt from riding over some really rough pavement by the construction at Sheriden Circle. From now on, I'm going to wear boxing gloves on my commute. That'll also set a nice tone for pushy drivers. Might make it harder to brake, but if I'm bellicose enough, I won't need to brake. They'll just get out of the way. Right?

This is a weird picture of the National Cathedral. Purely incidental that it looks weird, like it's been cropped and pasted from two equally bad pictures. Nope, it's just one bad picture. Can't remember what possessed me to take it.
Summer humidity without summer temperatures still makes for unpleasant bicycling. I might invent a shirt that's made of sponges. Patent pending.