Ride Home 6/16

"Mommy, why is that bike man crying?" asks an innocent child walking hand-in-hand with an adult woman as she sees me bike by on New Mexico Avenue.
"First off, I'm your nanny. Mommy is that blonde lady you see on the weekend," she replies coolly. "He's crying not because he has allergies and when he bikes downhill into the wind tears inadvertently stream down his face. No, he's crying because he has to ride a bicycle and can't afford even to take the bus. He's also crying because he thinks he's better than everyone else."
The tot replies "But when I bike it makes me happy. He should be happy."
"Bike commuters are never happy."
"Just like Mommy! Let's get in the car and drive to that playground over there" she exclaims as she points excitedly to the schoolyard half a block away.
"I'll get the SUV."
It was one of those days when everything seemed to pass by slower than usual. Slower downhill, slower uphill. Slower when I pedal, slower when I don't. Hope I wasn't incepted. Unrelatedly, I have this strange compunction want to break up my inherited energy conglomerate.
I hate, hate, hate making a left turn at a four way stop. Hate it. Taking turns shouldn't be as hard as it is. If I'm in a car, people know what to do. On a bike, all common sense goes out the window and no one knows what to do. Spoiler alert: it's still taking turns based on who got there first.
Taxi ran into the back of a bus on M street. Big delays coming into the District from Virginia. Sucks. Good thing it was Dump the Pump Day and everyone was taking transit. Though I guess sucked for the people on the bus that got rear-ended.
I noticed a lot of people hanging out on the Aqueduct bridgehead. They sure looked hungry and thirsty.
Especially for fried potato dough covered in sour cream and cheese and for cheap draft beer. I'd also serve kurtoskalacs. My little Hungarian popup stand would be awesome. Kickstarter anyone?
Crazy alien hive surrounded by orange fence? Yeah, probably. Dont say you weren't warned.
Call the Starship Troopers. 
Don't honk at someone going slowly because he's driving behind a bicyclist that you can't see. I'm constantly amazed by the level of "I know better than you" exhibited by drivers towards their fellow motorists. Really? You really think the guy in front of you is going slow because of some crazy whim and not for a reason? Really? I think that there should be the equivalent of Mail Goggles for car horns.
New bike lane on Quinn. Don't know how far it goes.
I think that they've slimmed down the painted bicycles from previous iterations. I guess Arlington County is looking for a sleeker ride, maybe a Linus.
The bike lane by the Clarendon Metro is not a kiss-and-ride. If you stop there, you will certainly not guess a kiss from me. I will instead look at you askance and make a sour face. I will probably even turn my head around and glare at you after I've biked by. If this glare offends you, DON'T BLOCK THE BIKE LANE. This is the surest way to avoid said glare.
I finally noticed the ominous clouds when I was only a few minutes from home. I dislike ominous clouds. I prefer my clouds fluffy and benign. I prefer my scrambled eggs overcooked and sort of hard, with most of the yellow cooked toward brown. I dislike runny eggs more than I dislike ominous clouds. Beat the rain home, but still had to walk the poodle in it. The poodle likes the rain less than I like runny eggs.

1 comment:

  1. Just discovered your blog, and as a commuter cyclist in DC myself, I'm highly amused at some of your observations. Thanks!