Ride Home 6/4: The sandwich guy injured his elbow and had to get Jimmy Johns surgery

Wouldn't it be cool if I wrote one of these in verse? Unfortunately, the only thing I know of iambs is that it's a dog food. Or something like that.

Rode home in street clothes (suit made of asphalt, double yellow lines as belt) and a helmet, though it sometimes feel weird to wear a helmet when I wear normal people clothes. When I dress in my bike commuter attire a.k.a my 'uniform,' the helmet feels like a natural topper. Like something I'd put on before "going to battle," much like another fake warrior, the football man, dons his helmet to express much the same misguided sentiment. In regular clothes, it feels superfluous, but I suppose it wouldn't be superfluous in case of potential head injury. Anyway, I wear it because I own it and because I'm carrying it with me and it would probably be silly to carry it in my bag when I could much more easily transport it on my head. I did wear bike shoes, but that's only because I wanted to keep my work shoes at my locker at work rather than wear them home only to bring them back in the bag again tomorrow.

Not much is sadder than watching someone pushing a bike uphill. Ok, a lot of things are sadder than that, but relatively speaking in a sort of hyperbolic way, this is still kind of somewhat true. Caveats ftw. Has anyone looked into the relative elevations of bike mecccas Copenhagen and Amsterdam? Are they hilly? Is there some kind of Braudelian geological determinism when it comes to bikey cities? Have I mentioned this before? I suspect that I have. I'm not sure many Annales historians have made more of an impact on my thinking about bike commuting than Fernand Braudel has, except for maybe Marc Bloch, Georges Duby, Jacques LeGoff and Pierre Nora. Yeah, that's right. TFTS has a prestigious pedigree. In a way.

Ended up behind a guy on a bike and he ended up on the sidewalk and I ended up on the sidewalk and then we both ended up back on the road and we both ended up getting cut off by a bus and then I ended up in front of him and I don't know where he ended up. I think he was wearing one ear bud. One ear bud to rule them all, I think.

Later in the ride, on Q street between Dupont and 15th, I rode behind two guys who I thought were riding together, but soon learned that one guy was ineffectually trying to pass the guy in front of him and I ended up passing both of them. Passing someone on a bicycle require something a sustained effort. Passing out on a bicycle just requires on overabundance of sun and a paucity of hydration. Or maybe seeing a spider if you're really afraid of spiders.

I guess I like boring bike commutes. Less to write about, but easier to do.

Brakes might be making noises again. Probably should clean them a little.

All sorts of bicyclists on Pennsylvania Avenue. It's very awkward when one stops in  the middle of the lane to make a turn. It would be decidedly better if it were less awkward to do so. I wonder how many cyclists take the cycle track all the way to 3rd or 15th just because turning is so awkward. None probably.

Totally nailed my last hill. Just flew up it. All that blood doping is really paying off. I just hope WADA isn't waiting at my door.

Massachusetts Avenue from 13th SE to at least 15th SE (but probably farther) could handle a bike lane. I don't know if a two block bike lane has any actual value. One day, I want to ride Masschusetts from Southern Avenue to Western Avenue (the entire width of the District). I will give this ride a pithy name and maybe ask people to give me money for doing it. Could we call it "Paul Revere's Ride?" Maybe we could. Could I ask you to support me by giving money, maybe that we can give towards a cure for a disease of note? I think we'd be obligated. If this ever comes to fruition, you'll know.

I stopped to get my dry cleaning on the way home. It's only 2 blocks from my house, so I walked it back, using my bike as a modified push cart. I'm not nearly coordinated enough to bike and hold dry cleaning at the same time. To be honest, I was barely coordinated enough to hold the hangers and push my bike at the same time. I made it home ok.


  1. You could call the Mass Ave ride the Mass Transit Ride. Sort of a sop to the whole transit of Venus thing. You could do it once every 100 or so years. You'd know exactly how big DC is if you were good at trig. Or had an odometer on your bike and suck at math.

  2. One ear bud to rule them all! Love it.

    Congrats on killing the last hill. It's the little triumphs that make life fun. I totally celebrate those kind of things.