Snow Pile

It's currently on its way to destruction (UPDATE: destroyed), but for almost a week since the storm, there has been a giant pile of snow in the middle of the Pennsylvania Avenue cycletrack directly in front of the Wilson Building, in which are the offices of the Mayor and members of the Council of the District of Columbia. I've had some fun over the past two days tweeting about it and I've storify-ed these tweets in homage to a much better collection of storify-ed tweets about the ups and downs of snow cleaning efforts vis-a-vis DC's bike facilities.

"But wait, there's more," he says to the collective groans of everyone who has read this far. I have some additional suggestions for when another massive snow pile (because, of course) is once again situated in the middle of one of the District's premier and vital pieces of separated bike infrastructure. So, in no particular order, please find below my very serious suggestions for best uses for future massive snow piles:
  • Bike-through oyster bar
  • Eskimo hostel
  • National Yeti Memorial
  • Artisan, locally sourced Slurpee distribution center
  • Iditarod training facility 
  • Backdrop for some Chris O'Donnell movie promotion that's 14 years late
  • Location for the 2015 NHL Winter Classic 
In conclusion, I look forward to spring. I look forward to reminiscing about the massive snow pile in the middle of the Pennsylvania Avenue cycletrack every time I open my freezer or they release another Ice Age movie. I look forward to sincerely believing that the "powers that be" (whoever they are) have learned their lesson and won't repeat the mistake of allowing problems like this to linger. I look forward to being able to ride my bike to work without thinking about the travails of the Donner Party. And while I recognize that this massive snow pile was constructed to keep White Walkers away from our elected officials, I hope that we can, in the future, find a way to do so without imperiling bicyclists and inhibiting their access to bike facilities that were built for year-round use. 


  1. "...sherpas have gathered at its base..."


  2. Say "Inuit," dude. Eskimo's offensive.