Ride Home 12/6

I feel a little bad about sloughing off the details from this morning's ride and instead using the post to hock hawk buttons (Related note: BUTTONS!) . I made you all a promise many moons ago that, by the power of Grayskull, I would do my best to accurate report banal minutia irreverent observations from each ride to and from work and I didn't do that and I apologize. To redress this, let me tell you about the Bentley I saw this morning. A Bentley is the kind of car that I thought came with a chauffeur, but this didn't appear to be the case. I know that I've seen bigger, that is to say cars that take up more space, but there was something about this car that made it seem so much bigger than any other automobile I've ever seen. The idea that I'm asked to "share the road" with it seems positively absurd.
And now, tonight. It rained the rain, but it wasn't cold. If you live in a drought-stricken area and would like immediate relief, just tell me to clean my bike and have me ride through. Without fail, every time I clean and lube my chain, it rains within 48 hours. Un-frickin-believable.
I left a little bit earlier than usual and accordingly, the roads were less crowded. I'd have a great commute if I didn't have to go to work at all. A bit boring though and harder (but not impossible!) to blog.
Occasionally drivers have to parallel park and this blocks the bike lane. Time to write a letter to the editor to call for the immediate ban of parallel parking. It slightly inconveniences me, which I'm fairly certain means that it should be made illegal. I mean, don't get me wrong. Sometimes I parallel park on the weekends. But parallel parking isn't really conducive to the evening commute. And furthermore, why can't they just parallel park in parking lots? They don't have to do it in the streets where normal people are trying to get home. Are urban parallel parkers just elite snobs? Shouldn't they think about how their parallel parking makes everyone think about other drivers, the ones who don't block traffic trying to back into a space?
Sometimes I do stupid things at the same time drivers of luxury cars also do stupid things. Maybe we should both just apologize.
Neologism (we should really come up with a new word for that) alert: can we settle on jaywheeling for the process by which a bicyclist "runs" a red light after stopping and making sure the intersection is clear? I sincerely doubt that it's my own coinage, but I'm going to champion this word and the 14 of you who read this blog can (and should) start using it too. Let's totally screw with the Google Alert results for some poor guy named Jay Wheeling.
Did you know that Congress has its own Christmas tree? Yeah, that's right. They were lighting it when I rode by. I took some pictures, but they're so piss poor that I won't post them here. If you'd like to get a sense of what they're like, take a black piece of construction paper, poke a few holes in it and then gouge your eyes out with a spoon because all you would see in the picture is total darkness. Automatic flash, yeah right.
Maybe there should be a twitter feed for bike lane problems. Not like blocked bike lanes, but bike lanes full of leaves or glass (Leaves of Glass was a less successful Whitman work). Maybe something like @DCBikeLane911. It'd be like @StruckDC or @fixwmata in that it'd be any all-in-one place to report bike lane problems. If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it, please do.