Ride Home 2/1: Enemies with Benefits

As an "important bike blogger" (in quotes because it's a lie), I've accumulated my fair share of enemies. Or at least, maybe. I don't really know because my enemies are secret, at least for the most part. But one of my enemies is trying to send me a message, a message I discovered when I went to get my bike out of the garage this afternoon:

A horse head, basically. 

That's right. I've stumbled onto something and Big Tape doesn't like it. They're sending me a message and the message is CAUTION. But I'm not going to back down and I'll keep reporting on the abuses of caution tape whenever I see it. It's superfluous and wasteful and no one is going to want to walk through that oily puddle anyway. And really, the tape wouldn't stop that anyway. So, please, for the love of Pete (Maravich, maybe?), stop over-taping. Together we can beat this.
Before leaving, I did two things that were long overdue. I adjusted my brake pads (they still squeaked, but I tried) and I fixed my helmet straps so that my helmet fit a little better and might actually not fly off if I ever needed it. So, hurray for being proactive after six months of procrastination.
It's sort of the worst when you know that a driver is going to speed from behind and cut you off and you're utterly powerless to do anything about it. Forgive and forget, I suppose.
I was worried I'd be honked at when the driver in front of me was going the speed limit along the flatter part of Mass between the hill and Dupont Circle. I even had my "it's the guy in front of me" shrug-and-point ready. I'm glad I didn't have to deploy it. Today at least. Thankfully most drivers just speed.
I feel like I thought of something quite clever someone on R, but I've totally forgotten it. Just pretend that I wrote something clever and be amused. I was less than amused on R when I got shoaled by some dude who proceeded to bike at roughly -3 mph in front of me. Thanks, dude. I didn't pass him because I was hemmed in by car traffic. Oh well. It was only for a couple of blocks and I lived.
I pass PETA HQ every day and I'm confronted with signs that questions whether I would eat my pet if it tasted like other animals I sometimes eat. I guess what I'm wondering is how PETA knows or doesn't know what pets taste like.
From 15th to 11th, I rode behind a woman I've followed before. She has a detachable metal basket on a rear wooden-ish rack and a bike with an IGH. She was wearing a skirt and I wondered if it's uncomfortable to bike in a skirt, which I haven't yet done. Shame I'm not still trying to raise money for WABA. Nothing says big bucks for charity likes transvestitism.
At 11th and Mass is where I first saw the guy who I think was a dancer in some Russian dance troupe. He was wearing tall black boots and billowy black pants and looked Slavic in a way that I can't explain. He was on a mountain bike with front and rear fenders and the front fender was a good three inches above the front tire. I passed him at L (no, not that L, the other L) and he rode past me when we stopped at New York. He dodged through car traffic and I that's when I first noticed his billowy pants. I also worked my way to the front of the queue and we both jumped the light. He cut me off to make a hard right on New York Ave, after we had already sort of passed it, and I thought he was gone, but he passed me again somewhere around E and then I watched him pass between lines of cars where there was just enough room and make a right turn in front of a bus and disappear again. Man, were those pants billowy.
I saw the Georgetown men's basketball team bus (hoya saxa) at 6th and Pennsylvania. I guess they're not LeBron. They're beating UCONN as we speak. Will I blame their bus travel to the downtown, Metro accessible arena with multiple Bikeshare stations nearby if they lose? Sure, that seems reasonable. As reasonable as any other aspect of fandom.
I rode on the House side of the Capitol. Might as well while it's still legal. If you have political representation, please let your rep know how the transportation bill is terrible. I then rode down Pennsylvania (I think that Southeast west of the river should get the acronym SEWR, but I don't think te real estate agents will go for it) and that was breezy, eventually making my way onto E and then to Safeway. Many bikes at the bike rack:

Hard to see, but that suspeniony jobber (technical term, nearest) has a kid seat near the handlebars. I was able to bring home multiple bottles of wine and a six pack of beer and some other stuff too. Grocery shopping by bike, for real, isn't very difficult and I encourage you to try it if you don't normally. Someone should really do an Ultimate DC Grocery Store Parking Guide, like those awesome people did for Arlington. Might need some help for that one.