Warm temperatures saw me inside learning about REITs for some reason and I didn't do my normal evening ride, so I outsourced it, like a real capitalist. And, like a real capitalist, I wanted to keep my labor costs as low as possible and who works for cheaper than zombies? NOBODY. I'm so happy they took time for their very busy day of brain-ogling and whatnot to blog their bike ride and many, many thanks for stalwart friend of the blog and all-around #bikeDC superstar MG for photographing and documenting their adventures.
Recently, zombies invaded my District residence and have become regular bike commuters.
The zombies don't have jobs, but ride to work every day with me, @gypsybug. Unlike the zombies, I have an actual job. The zombies say they accompany me because they worry about me getting lonely, but I know the real reason they want to ride along.
My commutes give them plenty of opportunity to pursue their favorite pastimes: the never-ending quest for BRAINS and miscellaneous mischief.
Because of their petite stature, the zombies travel enclosed in a small Rickshaw Pipsqueak bag on my Surly Long Haul Trucker.
It gets crowded for the four of them in there, but it's still preferable to having to endure the sunny mornings and afternoons. They hate the sun with an undead passion. Also, their arms are always falling off so they aren't very good bike riders.
I don't really mind the zombies, but sometimes they make my commute extra long. They like to escape whenever they can, make demands that must be met, and sometimes I just like to take them out to show them all the great things our city has to offer.
One day, a zombie made me interrupt my commute so he could attempt to knock over the Washington Monument.
While stopped, another zombie was almost hit in the head by Marine One. Duck zombie!
While that was going on, another zombie tried to run off with this sword and do some real damage.
Fortunately, the police apprehended him and let him go with just a warning and a tongue-lashing for not wearing a helmet while riding a bike. I'm lucky I made it to work that day.
On a recent commute home via Ohio Drive, one of the zombies took great interest in the newly installed Capital Bikeshare station.
“I can go all these places in D.C. by bike? Think of all the District BRAINS that would be within my reach then!” thought the little zombie.
The zombie pictured herself astride the Bikeshare bike, rolling along, seeking out new BRAINS to munch on. Bikeshare was a dream come true.
Unfortunately, the zombie was jolted back to reality when she realized that she was too small to ride a CaBi bike.
It would be impossible for her to steer or reach the pedals. A dream denied, she resigned herself to traveling in a front bag with the other zombies.
The zombies have been pretty pleased with some of the bike lane expansion in the city. Even though I tell them no, they love to sit in the bike lanes. It's their latest obsession.
If you commute in D.C., be on the lookout and be extra careful. Like I said, they are a big fan of bike lanes and #bikeDC BRAINS which, according to tweep @rgarris are "succulent and juicy."