The disclosures come first. I picked up a free t shirt and a tote bag and the tote bag, which was a fire-engine red, contained a tape measure emblazoned with the Great Streets logo and truth be told, I didn't know the tape measure was in the fire-engine red tote bag until after I got home. Along the way, I had a tiny cup of Atlas Brew Works beer. I ate somewhere between 4 and 6 dumplings and 2 shumai, both at a Charlie Chaplin-themed cocktail bar. I received free transportation in a shuttle bus for a number of blocks, but not many blocks that I couldn't have just walked. I did not take any gelato. I regret this. I have not once voted for any politician I saw, with one exception and only once. I did pick up the giant golden scissors, but only for a moment. There was no quid pro quo. I was not offered this benefit in exchange for any word or deed. What I would have done for this honor, I will not disclose. I did buy two Americanos, one at the beginning and one at the end, and while I paid for them, they did come from one of the businesses visited, the first one.
In a different context and if you squint in just the right way, you could mistake grand opening ribbon for finish line tape. They're the same stuff really. One says 'finish' and one says 'grand opening' but those are just words. The ribbon could say anything. As much as ribbon can say, that is. Muriel Bowser is hosting an 5 kilometer race to mark the start of her term. Vincent Gray cut 17 ribbons to end his. Ribbon at the beginning, ribbon at the end. It's a ouroboros of ribbon. You can get wrapped up in ribbon.
Let me tell you about the scissors. I don't think they're real gold. I think you're supposed to know that, but maybe you didn't. Part of me knew it, but another part of me didn't want to know it. They're hefty. Heavier than I thought they'd be. I didn't really give their construction much thought, but had I, I wouldn't have suspected the solidity. They were metal and metal the whole way through. I guess you don't want to mess around with ceremonial ribbon-cutting scissors. To fail to cut the ribbon would be inauspicious. Would you take out a Swiss Army knife with little scissors and make many little cuts where one big one didn't do? Would you bite into it with a canine just to get it going and then tear it the rest of the way? Would you just walk away? I guess this is why the scissors need to be real metal. This isn't a gimmick. This a ceremonial ribbon cutting.
In many parliamentary systems in many civilized countries, the responsibilities of governing and ceremonial functions are divided between a prime minister, who leads the government, and a president, who serves as the formal representative of the State, but without much actual power. There's good sense to this arrangement, but it's not the kind we have here. On the local level, that means you get stuff like this. We ask our elected leaders to govern and also tend to ceremonial functions. Does that make the ceremony more potent? Or does it degrade the leader, who should have other (more important?) things to do? When the President throws out the first pitch of a baseball game, is the pitch more important because he's taken the time out of launching missiles at terrorists to attend a baseball game and aim for a different kind of strike? Or, when the President misses the plate or bounces one or lobs a meatball, did he degrade the office and its dignity? When we ask our politicians to throw baseballs (or cut ribbons), are we elevating the mundane? Or are we reminding our leaders that they are nothing special, that we own them, that they are not potentates, that we set the agenda and the agenda is ho-hum. Or is it the other way around? Do we need our baseball games to be more than baseball games and our insurance agency sign improvements to be more than insurance agency sign improvements and do we, from these ceremonial actions, gain something so much more? Are we seeking a benediction? Are we seeking a photo op? Do we just like pomp?
This was my afternoon. The details are what they are, as is the commentary.
Typewriters have ribbon, but we don't really use typewriters anymore. You cut film, but we don't really use film anymore. One of the apparatus within rhythmic gymnastics is a ribbon. Stevie Wonder sang about a ribbon in a sky. That ribbon was for 'our love' and not to mark the grand opening of a gelateria or a new sign for a liquor store, at least so far as a lyrics tell us. Subtext might suggest otherwise. Open closer reading, I can reveal that subtext does not suggest otherwise. The ribbon in the sky for solely for love and it was not cut by giant golden scissors in the final days of a mayoral term. So far as we know.
Improvements, genuine improvements, should be celebrated. They should be marked by an occasion. It is fitting and proper to do this. Not everything can get a golden spike. Not should everything get spikes, in any metallurgical form precious or not so precious. Spikes, gold or otherwise, are driven into the ground and rivet. A ribbon, unfurled, provides a temporary limes and then when riven, you can cross once more. Closed. Cut. Open.
We should have more ribbon-cuttings, not fewer. More than 17 in one day? That would be a new world record. Probably. I much prefer ribbon cuttings and grand openings to the erection of statues and slapping a name on the side of a building. History will remember the big stuff and what history doesn't cover, nostalgia surely can. Let the novelty of opening be fleeting and celebrate it in a fleeting way. Let civic celebration crest and subside. Let the ribbon fall away. And then put down the scissors. And then pick them up again once more.
12/29/14
Gear Prudence 2014 Year In Review
I don't think this made it onto the web last week, but it was printed in the actual paper, so I cut out the column and now it's on the web. A bit bootleg, but it works. I guess. You can read the Gear Prudence 2015 preview, which is not in the format of poorly done decoupage, here.
12/24/14
Rides 12/23: End
Town empties before all big holidays. It even empties before small holidays. And on evenings. And weekends. The best part about Washington, apparently, are the roads out of it. But like most places, like amusement parks and all-you-can-eat buffets, it gets better when you have more of it to yourself. I don't begrudge anyone for leaving at all. I'm looking forward to staying home for holidays and maybe actually doing some DC stuff that I wouldn't normally do. I'm frequently scared off from doing things by large crowds and rarely does waiting for anything seem worthwhile. Maybe this is why I don't take Metro.
I took the M Street Cycletrack and noticed that DDOT had striped a long missing piece at 17th. It's a Christmas miracle! Or maybe a Hanukkah miracle (I'm not sure when they did it)! It might not even be a monotheistic miracle at all. It might just be that the work order was finally submitted. In any case, it's another one in a flurry of year-end bike projects that DDOT has accomplished. Well, mostly accomplished. It still needs plastic sticks.
I stopped at Patisserie Poupon for some 'last-day-before-vacation' croissants for my colleagues (I'm a very good co-worker. If your workplace could use someone to sometimes bring in pastries, resume available) and left my bike out-front and unlocked. Wisco is a tricky place for bike parking, in that there is none. The shops are all pretty small and face the street along a pretty narrow sidewalk, so there really isn't a ton of room for bike racks anyway, nor a centralized location that would make sense for customers for a bunch of stores. I'm also not sure how many customers arrive by bike, but that doesn't really tell you much- maybe they don't stop because there's nowhere to park a bike. (Nope, nothing to do with the big hill.) Also, it's probably unfair to ask our sidewalks to do too much, especially when they're so narrow. And you can't widen them because then where would people park cars. And you can't turn one of those car parking spots into a bike corral because it's only a parking space between 9:30AM and 4:00PM because if they were parking spots all the time, then there wouldn't be as many lanes in front of the stores for drivers to drive right past them? It's a real conundrum.
I decided to end my year of bike commuting into work with a ride up New Mexico Avenue. The bike lanes were full of leaves and unloading delivery trucks and the cars of people who either cannot parallel park well or simply don't care to, but at least there's a bike lane. And I guess that's my larger attitude about the state of #bikeDC in 2014 (I wrote something in WCP about it and it's available in print, but I don't think it's online yet, so go out and grab a print edition).
I left work early and headed home the usual way down Massachusetts and then took Q across town to 15th before heading up to T, over to 14th and down another block. I stopped for some celebratory falafel, as one does. Considering the Jesus, the alleged reason for the season, was a middle eastern dude, I'm pretty sure that's a way more appropriate Christmas food than ham, which again, Jesus, the presumably kosher-keeping middle eastern Jewish man, would not eat. I also had French Fries and were new world foods such as potato available to Jesus, I'm sure he would have enjoyed them mightily.
14th Street is an awful street for bicycling. The bike lanes aren't respected, there's too much construction, the road is ripped up. It's just awful. If you ride it everyday, you're either a hero or a moron and maybe both.
L to 11th to Pennsylvania, up the hill and home. The bike commutes for 2014 are in the books. Looking back, I'd say my favorite commuters were that one Thursday and then those two Tuesdays. See in 2015.
I took the M Street Cycletrack and noticed that DDOT had striped a long missing piece at 17th. It's a Christmas miracle! Or maybe a Hanukkah miracle (I'm not sure when they did it)! It might not even be a monotheistic miracle at all. It might just be that the work order was finally submitted. In any case, it's another one in a flurry of year-end bike projects that DDOT has accomplished. Well, mostly accomplished. It still needs plastic sticks.
 |
| I like when the arrow directly over the bicyclist figure points directly at what's blocking the bike lane |
 |
| The loading zone will be next to the cycletrack, as it is about 25 further down the road |
I stopped at Patisserie Poupon for some 'last-day-before-vacation' croissants for my colleagues (I'm a very good co-worker. If your workplace could use someone to sometimes bring in pastries, resume available) and left my bike out-front and unlocked. Wisco is a tricky place for bike parking, in that there is none. The shops are all pretty small and face the street along a pretty narrow sidewalk, so there really isn't a ton of room for bike racks anyway, nor a centralized location that would make sense for customers for a bunch of stores. I'm also not sure how many customers arrive by bike, but that doesn't really tell you much- maybe they don't stop because there's nowhere to park a bike. (Nope, nothing to do with the big hill.) Also, it's probably unfair to ask our sidewalks to do too much, especially when they're so narrow. And you can't widen them because then where would people park cars. And you can't turn one of those car parking spots into a bike corral because it's only a parking space between 9:30AM and 4:00PM because if they were parking spots all the time, then there wouldn't be as many lanes in front of the stores for drivers to drive right past them? It's a real conundrum.
I decided to end my year of bike commuting into work with a ride up New Mexico Avenue. The bike lanes were full of leaves and unloading delivery trucks and the cars of people who either cannot parallel park well or simply don't care to, but at least there's a bike lane. And I guess that's my larger attitude about the state of #bikeDC in 2014 (I wrote something in WCP about it and it's available in print, but I don't think it's online yet, so go out and grab a print edition).
I left work early and headed home the usual way down Massachusetts and then took Q across town to 15th before heading up to T, over to 14th and down another block. I stopped for some celebratory falafel, as one does. Considering the Jesus, the alleged reason for the season, was a middle eastern dude, I'm pretty sure that's a way more appropriate Christmas food than ham, which again, Jesus, the presumably kosher-keeping middle eastern Jewish man, would not eat. I also had French Fries and were new world foods such as potato available to Jesus, I'm sure he would have enjoyed them mightily.
14th Street is an awful street for bicycling. The bike lanes aren't respected, there's too much construction, the road is ripped up. It's just awful. If you ride it everyday, you're either a hero or a moron and maybe both.
L to 11th to Pennsylvania, up the hill and home. The bike commutes for 2014 are in the books. Looking back, I'd say my favorite commuters were that one Thursday and then those two Tuesdays. See in 2015.
12/22/14
Rides 12/22: Almond Joyeux Noel
A few things from the morning:
- Funny thing how much harder it is to ride to work when you've got brake pad rubbing, preventing the free movement of your rear wheel. But it makes you stronger! Because bike commuting isn't hard enough already sometimes. I fixed it later, which is to say I had it fixed, but more about that later.
- First time up 11th to R to Massachusetts in maybe a couple of months. It's shorter than riding across town (either via the Mall or Penn and M) and faster too. I think I know this and I think I knew it, but I learned it again. I saw Ted on 11th (hi Ted!), but not much else noteworthy. R was a bit of a cluster and mostly because there was no car traffic and that fact gave drivers license to go as fast as they pleased and that's typically at a speed faster than which I'm really comfortable biking around. Bike advocates, whoever they are, always like to talk about how bike commuters and car commuters are on the same team- one less car! build bike lanes and I'll stay out of your way! more room for you!- but sometimes the uncomfortable truth is that, maybe, I'm not super-thrilled about a world in which the fewer drivers are allowed to go super-fast near the more of us on bikes. It's unpleasant. And as much as I'd like to say 'see? look, open road for you! all thanks to my biking!', I can't help but think 'gosh, I wish the road wasn't so open so you couldn't drive so fast on it. Like, we convinced everyone not to drive and this is how you do us? dude.' I don't know. Maybe it's a design problem and maybe it's a paradigm problem or maybe it's both. Like, I want us all to be on the same team, but it seems hard when the goals (vroom vroom fast car vs. not be around speeding cars because they are unpleasant) seem so diametrically opposed. I guess I'm conflicted.
- They've opened a cafe on the grounds of the National Cathedral. If they threw in some discounted scones, I'd probably convert to Episcopalianism. It's a pretty nice space, but more importantly, it's at the top of the long climb at the intersection of Mass and Wisco, so it basically never not a good idea to stop. No bike parking, unfortunately. But who's going to steal a bike from in front of a church? Oh, bike thieves? I see. Anyway, place looks like this:
A thing from the evening:
It was cold and raining. It could've been worse. I remember being in high dudgeon about something or other, but I forget what it was now and that's probably for the best. Massachusetts to 21st to L to 12th to M to 7th to the not-yet-moved BicycleSpace, where an able mechanic ably fixed my brakes. They say that you learn from your mistakes but I'm wondering how many more mistakes I have to make before I learn to never try to fix anything on my bike itself. Speaking of mistakes, from the shop I rode by the Verizon Center, which was hosting an event (hockey?) and cycling near an arena on an event night just tends to be a terrible idea. Because cars.
E Street, Columbus Circle and Massachusetts some more. Rounded a couple of parks, then I was home and happy to be out of the rain for the few minutes it took me to leash up the pups and go back out in the rain. Last commute of the year tomorrow.
- Funny thing how much harder it is to ride to work when you've got brake pad rubbing, preventing the free movement of your rear wheel. But it makes you stronger! Because bike commuting isn't hard enough already sometimes. I fixed it later, which is to say I had it fixed, but more about that later.
- First time up 11th to R to Massachusetts in maybe a couple of months. It's shorter than riding across town (either via the Mall or Penn and M) and faster too. I think I know this and I think I knew it, but I learned it again. I saw Ted on 11th (hi Ted!), but not much else noteworthy. R was a bit of a cluster and mostly because there was no car traffic and that fact gave drivers license to go as fast as they pleased and that's typically at a speed faster than which I'm really comfortable biking around. Bike advocates, whoever they are, always like to talk about how bike commuters and car commuters are on the same team- one less car! build bike lanes and I'll stay out of your way! more room for you!- but sometimes the uncomfortable truth is that, maybe, I'm not super-thrilled about a world in which the fewer drivers are allowed to go super-fast near the more of us on bikes. It's unpleasant. And as much as I'd like to say 'see? look, open road for you! all thanks to my biking!', I can't help but think 'gosh, I wish the road wasn't so open so you couldn't drive so fast on it. Like, we convinced everyone not to drive and this is how you do us? dude.' I don't know. Maybe it's a design problem and maybe it's a paradigm problem or maybe it's both. Like, I want us all to be on the same team, but it seems hard when the goals (vroom vroom fast car vs. not be around speeding cars because they are unpleasant) seem so diametrically opposed. I guess I'm conflicted.
- They've opened a cafe on the grounds of the National Cathedral. If they threw in some discounted scones, I'd probably convert to Episcopalianism. It's a pretty nice space, but more importantly, it's at the top of the long climb at the intersection of Mass and Wisco, so it basically never not a good idea to stop. No bike parking, unfortunately. But who's going to steal a bike from in front of a church? Oh, bike thieves? I see. Anyway, place looks like this:
A thing from the evening:
 |
| This tree symbolizes trees in winter |
It was cold and raining. It could've been worse. I remember being in high dudgeon about something or other, but I forget what it was now and that's probably for the best. Massachusetts to 21st to L to 12th to M to 7th to the not-yet-moved BicycleSpace, where an able mechanic ably fixed my brakes. They say that you learn from your mistakes but I'm wondering how many more mistakes I have to make before I learn to never try to fix anything on my bike itself. Speaking of mistakes, from the shop I rode by the Verizon Center, which was hosting an event (hockey?) and cycling near an arena on an event night just tends to be a terrible idea. Because cars.
E Street, Columbus Circle and Massachusetts some more. Rounded a couple of parks, then I was home and happy to be out of the rain for the few minutes it took me to leash up the pups and go back out in the rain. Last commute of the year tomorrow.
12/21/14
Rides 12/19: Turn Right
I really need to write these up before Sunday. A few days elapse and whatever stood out from the commute no longer stands out and then I have to make up a bunch of mundane stuff, maybe even more mundane than than what actually happened, and substitute the false memories for the real ones. I think this might also be the plot of Inception 2: #inceptioneuring. What I can remember of Friday, as I tend to remember better with my taste buds than with my brain buds (note: I never took an anatomy class, am unsure if brain buds are an actual thing), were cupcakes. These cupcakes were brought in celebration of the fact that a bunch of us get together every Friday to drink coffee. Why exactly this needs celebrating, I'm unsure, but far be it from me to complain. In any case, thanks for the cupcake! It was a really great chaser to the donut that I hurriedly wolfed down, so as to free my hands to house a cupcake. Anyway, woo baked goods.
Two things I remember from the ride home and the first of those two things was a nasty pair of gashes in the road from some utility work at 15th and K. They were each maybe an inch and a half deep and at least 6 inches across and I was glad it was light enough still to avoid running into them. I wouldn't be too surprised if they took out a bicyclists or two later in the day, as that's what nasty gashes can do. I was on the Cross Check and not the Ogre, but happenstances like these confirm to me that people who cut holes in the street give very little care about bicyclists who later need to use those streets. SPOILER ALERT: this is pretty obvious. I don't know how utility work is undertaken in more bicyclist-friendly places, but I can only assume it's worth more care than 'eh, what's the worst a two inch cut in the pavement could do?' In this regard, it's a reminder that bicycle-friendliness (whatever that is) is more than paint and plastic sticks, or even concrete curbs and dedicated traffic signals, but a mindset that acknowledges that there are bicyclists, that there are always bicyclists (and they're pretty much everywhere), and that perhaps things should be done in such a way as to not cause them needless harm. You see this lack of mindset with utility cuts and you see it with blocked bike lanes and you see how it applies to pedestrians as well with closed sidewalks and the 'why don't you just wait here for 2 minutes for the light to change, cross the street, walk on the other side of the street for a block, wait another 2 minutes to cross back?' signs that accompany them. When afterthought becomes forethought, then we'll have actually gotten somewhere.
The other of the two things I remember is the addition of more parking stops on the 900 block of Pennsylvania Avenue. As of Friday afternoon, there were stops about 3/4 of the length of this block:
I think that maybe this could work. I worry, however, about the number of events that take place on Pennsylvania and whether these would need to be removed and re-installed throughout the summer. I don't know. Hopefully not. The perils of installing a center-running bike lane on America's Main Street, I guess.
So, that was Friday. But this is Sunday, and earlier in the day, I had the pleasure to take part in (but far from complete) the Hains Point 100. Hains Point, if you don't know, is a man-made island by the Jefferson Memorial that separates the Potomac from the Washington Channel and it's mostly a recreation site and has a pool and a golf course and it's a popular stretch for runners and, especially, cyclists, who ride loops around it. Each loop is maybe 3 miles, maybe a little less. Anyway, the idea is to ride a mentally mind-numbing century around HP for the very good cause of raising money for the WABA Women & Bicycles program. As in previous years, I did just a few laps and went home because 100 miles is a really long way and 3 mile lap increments is a crazy way to get to 100 miles, but there were many people who did the whole thing and they're real heroes. So, if you're one of those people who did the whole thing, or one of those people who just showed up and did some of the thing, then you're a pretty great person and I'm glad that the DC bicycling community, whatever that is, has people like you in it.
Two things I remember from the ride home and the first of those two things was a nasty pair of gashes in the road from some utility work at 15th and K. They were each maybe an inch and a half deep and at least 6 inches across and I was glad it was light enough still to avoid running into them. I wouldn't be too surprised if they took out a bicyclists or two later in the day, as that's what nasty gashes can do. I was on the Cross Check and not the Ogre, but happenstances like these confirm to me that people who cut holes in the street give very little care about bicyclists who later need to use those streets. SPOILER ALERT: this is pretty obvious. I don't know how utility work is undertaken in more bicyclist-friendly places, but I can only assume it's worth more care than 'eh, what's the worst a two inch cut in the pavement could do?' In this regard, it's a reminder that bicycle-friendliness (whatever that is) is more than paint and plastic sticks, or even concrete curbs and dedicated traffic signals, but a mindset that acknowledges that there are bicyclists, that there are always bicyclists (and they're pretty much everywhere), and that perhaps things should be done in such a way as to not cause them needless harm. You see this lack of mindset with utility cuts and you see it with blocked bike lanes and you see how it applies to pedestrians as well with closed sidewalks and the 'why don't you just wait here for 2 minutes for the light to change, cross the street, walk on the other side of the street for a block, wait another 2 minutes to cross back?' signs that accompany them. When afterthought becomes forethought, then we'll have actually gotten somewhere.
The other of the two things I remember is the addition of more parking stops on the 900 block of Pennsylvania Avenue. As of Friday afternoon, there were stops about 3/4 of the length of this block:
I think that maybe this could work. I worry, however, about the number of events that take place on Pennsylvania and whether these would need to be removed and re-installed throughout the summer. I don't know. Hopefully not. The perils of installing a center-running bike lane on America's Main Street, I guess.
So, that was Friday. But this is Sunday, and earlier in the day, I had the pleasure to take part in (but far from complete) the Hains Point 100. Hains Point, if you don't know, is a man-made island by the Jefferson Memorial that separates the Potomac from the Washington Channel and it's mostly a recreation site and has a pool and a golf course and it's a popular stretch for runners and, especially, cyclists, who ride loops around it. Each loop is maybe 3 miles, maybe a little less. Anyway, the idea is to ride a mentally mind-numbing century around HP for the very good cause of raising money for the WABA Women & Bicycles program. As in previous years, I did just a few laps and went home because 100 miles is a really long way and 3 mile lap increments is a crazy way to get to 100 miles, but there were many people who did the whole thing and they're real heroes. So, if you're one of those people who did the whole thing, or one of those people who just showed up and did some of the thing, then you're a pretty great person and I'm glad that the DC bicycling community, whatever that is, has people like you in it.
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